Baskin & Robbins ain't got shit on Colt 45.
What do Americans do when they stumble upon a great thing? That's right, they fuck around with it. That's not to say that all these permutations are unpleasant things, but on the other hand, let us not forget New Coke and Pepsi Clear.
Despite the unimpeachable quality of the base product, the liquid engineers at Colt 45 tinkered and fiddled. Here you will find an ode to the various incarnations of Colt 45 and some of my personal thoughts on each.
Colt 45 malt liquor. The bottle's seen some changes over the
years, ring tab cans to classic forty ounce bottles, to forty-five ounce
bottles, to forty-five ounce widemouths, to forty ounce widemouths, to
classic forty ounce bottles.
What it look like? Ain't nothing changed but the weather.
ice craze of the late eighties/early nineties? Well, not even this
proud trademark is above fads. Colt 45 rolled its ice offering out
with the rest and, like the rest, it was stronger than the original.
Colt Ice didn't dick around. It was not a thing to be trifled with.
|Colt 45 Double
Malt: a rare find, but still available on the market today. A nice
change of pace from the original. It has a very St. Ides feel to
Seriously, how could you possibly go wrong with double the malt?
|This is a
particularly interesting incarnation: mentholated Colt 45. I can't
fathom why they don't make it any more...
Since you can't buy it, I've developed a method to recreate the experience: Stuff a pack of Kools into a regular forty and shake it up. Voila, mentholated malt liquor.
|Colt 45 Light Beer? What the fuck? I'm not gonna dignify this.|
PowerMaster: The antithesis of Colt 45 Light. Perhaps they
were trying to make up for something. Never keen on the spirit of
the First Amendment, the feds shut down this marketing ploy,
something about prohibitions against promoting beverages based on a
heightened alcohol content.
Colt 45 PowerMaster, we hardly knew ye.
For more on the history of Colt 45, as well as an interview with its creator, check out this article: A Beer to Call Your Own
The author himself emailed this to me, which is kind of cool.
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